JT strikes again

I had an epiphany last night:

Jeanne Tripplehorn is a demon.

No, seriously. She's the first actress I can ever remember hating for the sheer fact that everything she touches turns to shite. I liked The Firm when I saw it, but I was 13 and not yet aware that John Grisham was a purveyor of junk, and her role was inconsequential. And when I saw Basic Instinct and despised it despite its heaps 'n' heaps of sex which you think would appeal to a horny teenager, I chalked it up to a flash of contrarianism.

Little did I know that it was all the fault of Ms. Tripplehorn.

Then she did Waterworld. 'Til There Was You. Office Killer. Sliding Doors. By the time she showed up in a small role as Christian Slater's wife in Very Bad Things, I understood that her role in life was to take films with promise and destroy them through her mere presence.

But I didn't know how far her insidious influence stretched until last night. See, I finally picked up the "Complete Mr. Show" box set, so I'm watching the second season and laughing my ass off. I come to the episode 'The Biggest Failure in Broadway History,' which is great save for the "Jeepers Creepers" musical sketch. I've always believed that said sketch is the least funny thing ever to be included in an episode of "Mr. Show," and I always figured my disappreciation of it was predicated on the fact that I have zero familiarity with Jesus Christ Superstar. But as I'm watching it last night and shrugging through it like I always did when it played on HBO, I realize the truth -- that's Jeanne goddamn Tripplehorn who gets a singing cameo midway through the sketch.

Jeanne Tripplehorn: So evil she can suck the humor out of "Mr. Show." What other proof of her satanic nature is needed?