Holiday snaps

During my two weeks in California recently, I...

* Toured Santa Barbara wine country, hit five wineries in two days and spent way more money than I really should have spent.

* Finished two books.

* Went to Disneyland for the first time in ten years and was reminded of how much fun that place is.

* Performed best-man duties at a wedding, including a well-received toast that mentioned coffee shops, missing cufflinks and largemouth bass juggling.

* Ate more burgers in two weeks than I have in the last five years. (I'm so glad that there are no In-N-Out Burger locations in New York, otherwise I'd weigh 400 pounds.)

* Turned one year older and celebrated by catching up with family while consuming my grandmother's spectacularly tasty key lime pie.

* Encountered the elusive Screaming Eagle Cabernet Sauvignon in public. Twice.

* Got my wife hooked on cheese plates.

* Walked around Ventura in a half-drunk stupor at 2 AM looking for something to eat before realizing that nothing in Ventura is open past midnight.

* Helped arrange/attended a bachelor party in which I witnessed a man vomiting on a stripper. Which was kind of the most amazing thing ever, even more so because she shrugged it off and hung out to dance some more.

All in all, a decent time was had.

That'll stick.

I just realized that the woman who cuts my hair has a daughter who works with her. Her daughter looks like Sativa Rose. Thinking about this while her mother has scissors to your head is just a cornucopia of mixed emotions.