Latest entry in the SFW Folder

I am constantly amazed by the stupid crap that people on the Internet will find time about which to give a shit. Are we as a culture so thoroughly bored that viral marketing on Myspace is something over which to obsess? Even worse, this obsession is then worth a full-page article in the L.A. Times?

More and more, I just want to opt out of the prevailing popular culture.

Thoughts on Trailers #3 (Seen during Beerfest)

- Judging from the trailer for The Departed, looks like Marty did right by Infernal Affairs. I'm proud to say I correctly predicted which of the moles would be played by Damon & DiCaprio. (Not that it was difficult, but still.) I can't wait for this one.

- I also can't wait for The Fountain, even as part of me suspects it'll be like an arthouse Michael Bay movie -- all surface, no stickum. At the very least, the visuals promise to be mind-blowing.

- Let's Go to Prison should by all rights be the funniest thing ever. I wasn't a fan of Bob Odenkirk's last film (the smarmy prickfest of Melvin Goes to Dinner), but this looks like top-drawer stuff. ("Well, it... uh... it kinda looked like it was a Q.")

- I'm so glad The Protector is finally coming out. That means I can stop seeing the damn trailer, which has played in front of almost every film I've seen at Loews in the last two months.

- Then, of course, there's Jackass: Number Two. Back in June, Dennis Cozzalio posted a beautiful evocation of the warring impulses that must take place inside any serious film fan (like myself) that secretly looks forward to watching Knoxville and Co. abuse themselves yet again. What else can I add to that other than I'll be in line that weekend with bells on?

Simple pleasures... sort of

Last night, I got to experience something rare and wonderful: I heartily enjoyed a Westvleteren 12. I know my possession of it wasn't exactly kosher, being that I didn't buy it from the abbey (though looking at the prices, I wish I had)... but goddamn. When a beer is that damn good, I'm willing to bend a few rules. I now have a damn good reason to make a pilgrimage to Belgium.

The timing was great, too -- it'd been a shit day at work, so what better to help me unwind and improve my mood than drinking The Best Beer in the World while watching Bresson's A Man Escaped? After that, I watched Lessons of Darkness while quaffing a St. Bernardus 12, which is pretty similar to the Westvleteren except you can actually buy it in this country -- it's a slight step below, but it's a perfectly viable substitute. Then I watched Bruce Conner's Report. Again. It was a real highbrow evening, apparently.

From the Archives #1

(First posted on The OCE on 8/12/02.)

I found this quote in a review over at Teleport City, a neat site with lots of lengthy reviews of cheezeball movies nobody's ever heard of (like the Swedish action film War Dogs, the review from whence this came). It's a great bit of writing. I can relate to the concept it offers.

"The good thing about this hobby is that no matter how deep you get into it, you're really never going to do more than scratch the surface. Just when you are patting yourself on the back for having see the Filipino musical version of Batman, you find out about the Turkish rip-off of Star Trek. And just when you find that, someone comes along and mentions Bruce Lee Versus Gay Power to you. It's like playing Space Invaders. No matter how long you play, no matter how good you are, there's always more waves of space invaders to face. You'll never finish the game, because there is no finish to it. The game is in the playing; not in the completion. So, too, is the eternal quest for obscure films and endless journey into the darkest corners of the world's video vaults. You start feeling all bad-ass because you've developed a keen knowledge of Italian Road Warrior rip-off films from the 1980s, and then you meet someone who is going, 'What? You aren't familiar with Filipino midget spy films? You plebe!' While it's frustrating, it's also nice to know that we're never going to run out of this stuff no matter how much we watch."

Amen, brother.

A bizarre fact about me that requires some explanation

Last year, I slept on the couch because my cat was on my bed.

Dumb Question of the Week - 9/1

"I'm looking for a wine. It's red French wine and it's really smooth and it's from 1997. Do you know which one that is?"

Where my cynicism comes from

I don't know what's sorrier: that I saw someone today wearing a sweatshirt proudly trumpeting the CRUSDADERS or that I had to explain to a coworker why that was amusing me so.