Perhaps vampires is a bit strong, but...

If there are any funeral directors in my reading audience, perhaps one of them will be kind enough to explain to me why it should cost ten grand just to plant a loved one into the ground. Seems to me like a rather callous time to start price-gouging, no?

When I die, I want whoever is around to just grab a shovel and throw me in a hole. Or I'd like to be strapped with dynamite, thrown into an empty field and blown up. I don't need the pomp or the circumstance. As the Blood Brothers put it so succinctly on their current album Young Machetes, "Death's just death no matter how you dress it up."